He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
