There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
