I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
