I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
