Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
