Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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