he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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