Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
