You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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