Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
