Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
