I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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