And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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