you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
