I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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