Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
