I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
