Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
