You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
