why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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