Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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