dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
