They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
