so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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