Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
