eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
