your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
