Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
