She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
