Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
