my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
