well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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