I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
