just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
