office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
