Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
