You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
