He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
