Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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