My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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