The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
