I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
