Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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