Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
