in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
