What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
