the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
