Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize