u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
