Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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